Heal from Your Past So You Can Have a Future

Heal From Your Past So You Can Have A Future
An excerpt from Dance Warrior written by Noelle Andressen
copyright 2015

There is a guilt that brings about death and a guilt that leads to freedom. However, false guilt can be the cruelest of all; neither having been earned by deed or alleviated by repentance. You must heal from the past so you can have a future.

I should have been satisfied with surviving cancer. I was not. This was a deep wounding. This was going to take a lot of “soul work” to heal from. I had to heal from my past so I could have a future. I have had several occurrences in my life where this notion would be put to the test. One was from the child abuse I suffered from and the other from my cancer ordeal. We had to sell our home because we didn't have medical insurance. We were not on a film project, we were not employed at that time. This was an example of bad timing on many angles and only the gods of mercy could divinely guide and sooth as we made life changing decisions that would alter our family forever.

My stomach bottomed out often reflecting upon this decision to save my life: money from selling our home to provide a hopeful life saving treatment. I was dealing with false guilt even ten years after we sold our home.

Here are some things I did to help me "Heal my past."

Remember: S.S.S.

1. Security - I had to know that I was surrounded by people that were on my team to support me through the healing process. They had to be mentally healthy and strong morally to lift me upon during my down times.
2. Soft Place to Fall - You've heard this term in psychology and in beautiful sentiments on cards and other writings. This "Soft Place", needed to be something that allowed me to get out my emotions without fear of judgement.
3. Serenity - I had to have my quiet time to reflect and tell myself that I wasn't selfish for fighting for my life.

The resolution to this is that for the most part I am healed, but healing is like an onion with many layers. When one layer is revealed and healed, often times there are others. I cannot say I am completely guilt-free from false-guilt, but I am further along than I was and have set the foundation and groundwork to know that our family collectively made the right decision to save my life.

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Noelle Andressen is an Emmy nominated writer, producer and music arranger. She has authored the 5 book series: "Dance Warrior" Book Series. The first book is set to be released very soon. She is also a dancer-choreographer that has had the privilege of being photographed by legendary dance photographer Lois Greenfield (photo release 2016). She's known for her many works on camera as an actress and behind the lens as a story-teller with her screenplays. She took this skill and applied it to her dance company: Rubans Rouges Dance and creates thought provoking "Dance Drama" that beckons you to "Feel the Experience" (TM/slogan mark).